True Friends

I've been thinking about this topic a lot lately. I've been receiving e-mails, forwards, and posts. They've said things like, "if you're really my friend, you'll pass this on." or "you'll send this back" I've gotten others that were genuine, trying to define what a friend really is. They have been pouring in by the dozens, especially with the advent of the bulletin board. I have my own opinions. Accept them, or not.

I feel there are multiple levels of friendship. There are your closest friends. These may include a spouse or significant other, and maybe one or two additional people that you regularly spend time with and share deep feelings with. I agree, those are people who you should feel around you all the time, not just when something (good or bad) happens. Not just for special occasions, but routinely and regularly. Intricately involved in the daily workings of your life.

But there is another group of friends. These friends aren't by your side every day. These friends probably don't even know what you're going through right now. They may not be in that inner circle, that core group that you go to every time you need someone to say hello. But that does not mean they are not friends. That does not mean they don't care. That does not mean that they don't want to know what your going through from time to time. Just like you're not there, and not knowing what THEY'RE going through. These friends are important. These friends are the ones who come close to celebrate a special event. They come around to console when it is needed. They may not make every event. But they are there when they can. And they are there when you ASK them to be.

With my new contacts on-line, I have gotten in touch with several friends from my early days, my younger days. I haven't talked to some of them in a very long time. Others I have seen here and there from time to time. These people are all important to me. They all have a place in my heart. From the old high school friend, to the ex, to the church friend. The friend of a friend that I don't even know that well, the friend that I'm just getting to know. Each and every person in this group holds a special place for me. I am always out there, waiting to say hello. I drop a line from time to time. I am willing to be that friend they need me to be. In the interim however, I sit idle, still thinking of them, still praying for them. Still wondering what they are up to at the exact moment.

Along those lines, there is another group that I do the same thing for. Many of those who've known me long know of this group and its importance to me. These are my church friends. This is the group that I grew up with. These are the "kids" I spent four, five, six, or seven nights a week interacting with on various levels. This is the group that was so tight throughout our years growing up. Those on the outside, or even some in the group look at us as if we've fallen apart. As if we don't care for one another anymore. I only have one response. Think of a wedding. A baby. A funeral. A big birthday. A visit from someone who's moved out of town. I cherish these moments. I have long said. We look as if we've fallen apart. But then one gets married. The wedding goes off as if we'd never been apart. As if one doesn't live in Indiana. As if one didn't move to the east coast. As if one's job doesn't permit them to come around as often as they'd like. As if our jobs, our families, our lives haven't taken us each in different directions.

We've moved on. We've each grown up. We no longer spend all of our time in a teen choir, or going to concerts in D.C. or putting on plays. Or just hanging out. We have jobs. We have spouses. We have children. We have careers. We have ambitions. We all have things that draw us away from spending time with one another on a casual level. Don't think for a moment, that that means we don't reminisce about sitting up all night playing cards. Or going to play volleyball. We dream of simpler times when we didn't have to stay away for so long. But we remember the times we can get together, good and bad. We remember when we can be there for one another. We hope that the others aren't feeling alone. And if they are, we hope that they are willing to pick up the phone, or start typing, or writing. Or knock on our door to say, "I just wanted to say hi." or "I just needed a friend to talk to." Because, I am sure that everyone in that group would drop whatever they were doing and just talk.

Friendship isn't only about spending time together. Friendship is about thinking, caring, and praying about one another when you're apart. And all of you are friends in my heart. My thoughts and prayers are with all of you, each and every day. From the core church group. To those I didn't get as close to. From my closest high school friend to the friend of a friend. From the ex to the friend I'm just getting to know. I think of you all everyday. I pray for your happiness, your wellbeing, and your life. May God bring you the joys he's brought me and may he bring us together to overcome the sorrows that come each of our ways.

We love you all.