My Alter Ego

Apparently, blogging is for us sophisticated types. Those young kids and trouble makes prefer to call it "my space" Or more appropriately "my.space.com" So, I have now discovered, that there are two of me. For the sophisticated Ken, continue to find my deepest thoughts here. For the child in me (and for more pictures) you can also find me at My Alter Ego. Hopefully soon, I'll take the time to sit down and try to explain what I've been thinking. Until then, I'm busy posting pictures.

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Sorry, tonight the well is dry. I don't know why, but I've nothing to write about. Not that a lot isn't happening, I'm just drawing a blank. So, until next time. Now, I'm going to bed, since my son has already gotten up from his own bed and taken my spot in mine. Maybe I'll get him back to his so I can stretch out. Yeah right. Well I'll be back when this plug is removed from my creative mind.

Stop Copying Me...

Ask anyone who's ever written a book on raising children. The foremost way that infants learn is by mimicking the actions of those around them. I always agreed with this theory. Then my son reach one year. All of a sudden I was thrown back to my childhood where I was yelling at my younger brother to "stop copying me." Several examples:

• Sitting in the kitchen at lunch time eating soup. I look over and my son is trying to drink the soup out of the bowl, even though we've strained just about all the broth out. I can't figure out why until I get to the end of my soup. I pick up the bowl and drink the broth.
• My son is the best at loading laundry into the dryer. He can't quite handle my jeans or our big towels. But I hand him one of his bibs or a sock, and he takes it over and puts it in the dryer. Then he's right back for more before I can get the big stuff over.
• Over the holidays, I had coffee going all the time. I drink about a pot a day during the winter. But I'm normally at work. So after 2 days of me being home, he is walking around the house Christmas morning with the travel mug Brittny got me. Then he gets a little kitchen set. Since then he's carried his own coffee cup around. He'll take a drink, then say "th-aw" like it was just what he needed to get him going.

I have concerns with this trend however. I know he's taken my love of television, especially sports. He's probably a bigger football fan than I am. He takes too big of bits at the dinner table. He eats way too much bread. He runs out into the garage in his socks. He doesn't like to sleep under the covers. What will he pick up on in the future? Will he have problems managing money? Will he not like to read? Will he not finish all 4 years of college?

My hope is that instead he'll love is mother. He'll love his family. He'll be able to work on cars. He'll be handy around the house. Of course the number one thing, HE'LL COLLECT THE GARBAGE ON THURSDAY NIGHT so I don't have to.

My prayer for myself this year, is to be more observant of the actions I take, the words I say, the ways I act. To think about what I'm doing, and decide if it is something that he should be doing. To think about what I'm NOT doing, and decide if IT is something that he should be doing. And to remember, that I have a little spongy shadow that is picking up on every move my muscles make. May he find his way through this life, and may I be a lighthouse to guide that way.

Parental Joint Operations Taskforce

Tonight brings to a close the second of two four day weekends in a row. One would think, wow what a vacation. What a time to relax. A time to get away. Or maybe a time to be refreshed on the things in your closest relationships that drive you nuts. Brittny and I joke all the time that vacations can't last more than three days, because then we start wishing we were back at work. As each day spent together passes, we become more observant of those things the other does that simply drive us mad. It's probably more like we just let the little things that the other does get to us. Either way, by the end of the eighth day together in eleven, we are likely to pull eachother's hair out. As a matter of fact, I saw in her eyes, the reason she hasn't cut my hair yet is she finally sees something long enough to get between her fingers.

Whether it be her saying, "Real good, drop him on his head" or me grinding my teeth because she's tickling him while we're laying in bed trying to stay awake while he goes to sleep. (Don't worry, I didn't really drop him on his head. What he chooses to do in a tantrum is beyond my control) She yells at me for letting him get away with stuff. Then there's one of her Christmas presents. I got her a book by James Dobson titled "Parenting isn't for Cowards." My hope was that we would both read it and use it as a guide to be more firm with our son. However, for the first three days after Christmas all I heard was, "What would Dr Dobson have to say about what you're letting him get away with." That ended when I threatened to return the book unless she waited to quote from it UNTIL AFTER SHE READ IT! The point is, our different approaches on life in general, but especially parenting become very apparent as we spend time together as a family.

I propose this however. Look at it as a Joint Operations Taskforce. As when during military operations, the Navy and Army must work cooperatively together. (Yes, being a government employee, I do realize that government and cooperation do not really belong in the same sentence.) However look at it this way. The Navy and the Army must work together to achieve their mission. Keep in mind that I do not come from a military background, so I can not really be specific. But how would it work. The two forces would agree on the mission. They would agree on the basic method by which that mission will be achieved. One may even tell the other what to do. However, I would imagine that the Army is not going to tell the Navy HOW to sail a ship. As the Navy is not going to tell the Army HOW to maneuver its infantry. Yet, they both do their portion, cooperatively and sometimes coordinated, and the mission is accomplished.

Apply this principle to parenting, especially cooperative parenting. We are human. We are unique. While the marriage process has hopefully enlightened us to each others quirks and tendencies. We still learn more about eachother everyday. Even after 5 years of marriage which followed a 10 year courtship. We realize every day that we are different. That we approach life in different ways. That we approach parenting in different ways. What we must, as parents learn to do is understand that we are different. That God granted us each special gifts, and gave us each individual weaknesses. We must approach parenting in a cooperative, coordinated way. We must concern ourselves more with what is being accomplished and less with how the other is accomplishing it. In the end, our mission is to raise this young soul to be able to face the world on his own. To have the knowledge and wherewithal to understand what he his doing and why he is doing it. And to allow him to discover for him self how he will get it done. And someday, he will have a mission of his own to achieve.

Until that day, I will hold his little hand in mine. I will be amazed as he looks into my eyes and says he loves me before his lips ever move. I will melt every morning when he reaches over, wraps his little muscular arms around my neck and hugs me so tight that I couldn't get out of his grip if I wanted to. I will cherish the time that I have at home with my family and look past the little things they do, that I sometimes say to myself, "I would have done it this way." And each night, I will kiss my son goodnight. And kiss my wife goodnight. And go to sleep knowing that nothing I could dream would be better than where I am now.