Parental Joint Operations Taskforce

Tonight brings to a close the second of two four day weekends in a row. One would think, wow what a vacation. What a time to relax. A time to get away. Or maybe a time to be refreshed on the things in your closest relationships that drive you nuts. Brittny and I joke all the time that vacations can't last more than three days, because then we start wishing we were back at work. As each day spent together passes, we become more observant of those things the other does that simply drive us mad. It's probably more like we just let the little things that the other does get to us. Either way, by the end of the eighth day together in eleven, we are likely to pull eachother's hair out. As a matter of fact, I saw in her eyes, the reason she hasn't cut my hair yet is she finally sees something long enough to get between her fingers.

Whether it be her saying, "Real good, drop him on his head" or me grinding my teeth because she's tickling him while we're laying in bed trying to stay awake while he goes to sleep. (Don't worry, I didn't really drop him on his head. What he chooses to do in a tantrum is beyond my control) She yells at me for letting him get away with stuff. Then there's one of her Christmas presents. I got her a book by James Dobson titled "Parenting isn't for Cowards." My hope was that we would both read it and use it as a guide to be more firm with our son. However, for the first three days after Christmas all I heard was, "What would Dr Dobson have to say about what you're letting him get away with." That ended when I threatened to return the book unless she waited to quote from it UNTIL AFTER SHE READ IT! The point is, our different approaches on life in general, but especially parenting become very apparent as we spend time together as a family.

I propose this however. Look at it as a Joint Operations Taskforce. As when during military operations, the Navy and Army must work cooperatively together. (Yes, being a government employee, I do realize that government and cooperation do not really belong in the same sentence.) However look at it this way. The Navy and the Army must work together to achieve their mission. Keep in mind that I do not come from a military background, so I can not really be specific. But how would it work. The two forces would agree on the mission. They would agree on the basic method by which that mission will be achieved. One may even tell the other what to do. However, I would imagine that the Army is not going to tell the Navy HOW to sail a ship. As the Navy is not going to tell the Army HOW to maneuver its infantry. Yet, they both do their portion, cooperatively and sometimes coordinated, and the mission is accomplished.

Apply this principle to parenting, especially cooperative parenting. We are human. We are unique. While the marriage process has hopefully enlightened us to each others quirks and tendencies. We still learn more about eachother everyday. Even after 5 years of marriage which followed a 10 year courtship. We realize every day that we are different. That we approach life in different ways. That we approach parenting in different ways. What we must, as parents learn to do is understand that we are different. That God granted us each special gifts, and gave us each individual weaknesses. We must approach parenting in a cooperative, coordinated way. We must concern ourselves more with what is being accomplished and less with how the other is accomplishing it. In the end, our mission is to raise this young soul to be able to face the world on his own. To have the knowledge and wherewithal to understand what he his doing and why he is doing it. And to allow him to discover for him self how he will get it done. And someday, he will have a mission of his own to achieve.

Until that day, I will hold his little hand in mine. I will be amazed as he looks into my eyes and says he loves me before his lips ever move. I will melt every morning when he reaches over, wraps his little muscular arms around my neck and hugs me so tight that I couldn't get out of his grip if I wanted to. I will cherish the time that I have at home with my family and look past the little things they do, that I sometimes say to myself, "I would have done it this way." And each night, I will kiss my son goodnight. And kiss my wife goodnight. And go to sleep knowing that nothing I could dream would be better than where I am now.