Remember When

Remember When

Alan Jackson sang the song. I've known the song. I could probably sing every word right along with him. But I never really listened. I never heard the words. It came on during our last trip up north. It was Labor Day weekend. Just before my surgery. It was about 1 am. We had been listening to CD's most of the way. We were passing through downtown Eagle River on our way to my parent's place up there. We turned the radio on, we had been discussing things. Life. Memories, good and bad. We just kind of stopped talking for a minute, and I actually listened to the song. It was the first time I had really heard the words. The meaning. It was amazing, it could have been written about us.
We've been together for a long time. I think we figured out that it's been at least 15 years. We dated several times growing up. We had a steady relationship through most of high school. We went our separate ways, but always seemed to find each other. Always see each other in crowds, even when we weren't there. Then, one night at the bar we used to dance at growing up. I walked in the door to meet a friend. My friend stepped aside, and there she was, sitting against the wall. Our eyes met, and we were right back were we had been all those times before. She was my first true love. She is and has been the one that knows me. That understands me, an amazing task in itself. But then, she loves me too. We've begun growing old together.
The song talks about "thinking 30 seems so old" All I've thought about since I turned 21 is how I'm going to be 30. Now, I'll be 29 in a couple of months. Let's just say, I'm coming to grips with the following year. She's helped me through it. She's stood beside me. Behind me. She's held my hand, and I've held hers. She is my life's blood. This last test of our love proves it. I would wake up in the middle of the night, multiple times. I'd just lay there in the hospital bed and stare at her sleeping in the chair next to me. I'll never forget when I came out of surgery. Everyone had been warning me that I'd be groggy, that I wouldn't remember much about recovery. Which I don't. But I remember being carted down the hallway. From the operating room to the recovery room. Or to my hospital room, it doesn't matter. But I remember. I had been so nervous about this surgery. I wasn't freaking out, I knew it was what had to be done. And I'm glad I did it. But things weren't in order. I didn't have a will written. Yes, there are various provisions in place, should something happen to me. But I didn't have time to make sure they were all in order. I wrote a will quick, just in case, the night before my surgery.
But in that hallway, everything was calmed. I had no idea where I was. But I saw her. She was standing against the wall when I went by. I have no idea of the expression on her face. All I know is I saw her. I knew at that moment that everything was okay. It was the most peaceful moment I've ever had. She said she didn't hear me, maybe I was talking in my head like I tend to do under anesthesia. But all I said was, "hey baby" The sight of her, made me secure. It always has. When I'm away working for a long time. When she's out without me. When I see her, it makes me calm. It makes me feel like everything is in place. Life's things don't matter. Material possessions don't last. "Love is all we knew" It's all I know today. Love for my wife. Love for my family. Love for my God.
Now we can grow old together. I long for the day when we can welcome our grandchildren into our house. She thinks I'm nuts when I say I want 8 kids. She jokes that I better find 6 more women. But what really I want is to see our love grow through the generations. I want to be 60, and have a house full of people. I want to know that those little lives exist because of our love. Because we showed our kids how to love. And they showed their kids how to love. "Remember When, we said when we turned grey, when the children grow up and move away; we won't be sad, we'll be glad; for all the life we've had, Remember When..." I will always remember the life we've shared. The life we continue to share. I wouldn't trade a minute of it, good or bad, for any life that didn't have her in it. She is the dream that have when I go to bed. She is the happiness that I feel in my heart. She is the joy that shows through my eyes. And our children are a reminder to me, of that love we share.
My prayer for each of you is that you may share that feeling with someone special. That you may know that God put this person on earth to stand with you in your daily trials. That He knew exactly the type of person it would take to tame my soul. And I thank Him every day, that He chose her. Now, when She reads this though, she'll probably say I'm way too much of a sap. But that's okay. I love her, and endless words are and have always been the best way to show it. That is other than going upstairs right now, wrapping my arms tight around her, kissing her on the forehead, and hoping I don't wake her up when I do.